i was never born and i will never die.  i am simply a stage (or a wave) in an ongoing continuum of material inter-being.  just as both the wave and the sea are both temporary forms of water, so am i a temporary form of a material manifestation, truly defined by all other physical things of which i am a part.  this is like this because that is like that.  my true identity lies in all that is since nothing can just be, it by definition must inter-be.

saw this on this is why you're fat .com.  most disgusting thing i've ever laid my eyes on but quite creative.

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i found this joke on an econ blog and i thought it was quite funny.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Lets smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Lets build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Lets assume that we have a can-opener..."

i was looking through fail blog and i came across this ad that appeared in Illinois. 

my grandfather died yesterday at 4:30 pm.  RIP

to be honest, i'm pretty fucking livid right now.  i just don't understand how, when you don't get what you want from me, you can justify disallowing anybody else from getting the same thing from me.  i don't understand this mentality of "if i can't have it, nobody can."  get over yourself, seriously.  i'm tired of people trying to dictate how i am to live my life.  i want to fuck and kiss and do whatever to who i want, and to be honest, i really don't care how it makes you feel.  you don't even act like you're interested in me, so how can you possibly lay any claim to dictate my sexual actions?  stop being such a royal cunt and let other people enjoy what they want because you obviously missed out on getting anything from me due to your extreme immaturity.  you can count me out as a friend.

here's my favorite song right now

i am cautiously pessimistic concerning our new president.  yes, he is making history, but history also tells me i shouldn't expect too much from obama.  as aaron mcgruder put i "just b/c 'our guy' won, doesn't mean that all that stuff we were mad about doesn't still exist.  why, just because 'our guy' won, do we immediately become so critical?"  i think he has a point.  to some extent, it's been shocking how uncritical some people have become in light of obama's victory.  remember, he is a politician.

i am by no means saying that i think obama is a bad person or is going to be a bad president.  i just think that i have to be a realist is this situation.  i hope obama does brings about the much needed change about which he has so passionately spoken.

indeed, i like barack obama, and i really hope that he is everything that everyone else thinks he will be.

my new favorite political cartoon from the economist.
will obama be able to sufficiently deal with all these issues that he's inheriting and how?
i think at some point in his presidency he will fail, not because of his own inability, but because of the magnitude of the problems he is inheriting.  obviously, he will have to make changes, and major ones at that, to solve many of the problems with which he is challenged.  what will he do about the invasion of palestine?  what our failing economy?  is an unprecidented stimulus package really a viable solution to fix our economy in the long term?  at some point we will have to pay for the debt that we incur.  all these things puzzle me and i am quite interested to see obama in action.

it's ridiculous how fucking cold it is right now.  the high for today is 5 F, wind chills at about -25 F.  i guess walking to class will be a very cold experience.  on the bright side, i have my first jewish lit class today.  i really hope it turns out to be pretty interesting. 

another something funny, eric and i have at least seriously pondered the idea of being good students this semester.  i'm not sure how long that will last.  hopefully pretty long.

my intro to international relations class looks to be a very enjoyable class.  i like marcelo because he is very straight forward.  i may not necessarily agree with how he runs his class from an administrative perspective, but at the very least i know exactly what to expect from him.  not to mention, he also seems to be a really smart guy who asks a lot of challenging questions.  as well, i'm thouroughly enjoying the reading for the class already.  man, state, and war seems to be pretty dense, but beyond that, it brings forth a lot of compelling ideas.  once you get over the cumbersome nature of waltz's writing style, it becomes evident that some great ideas are being put forth.

so i guess i'll just brave the wind and the cold and focus instead on my classes for the day, and how they're inside. 

additionally, i've come to the conclusion that i'm commiting academic suicide.  whatever, i'm determined to make it through this semester without dropping anything.

intro to international relations, jewsish lit, microecon, calc.  should be fun :)

i'm so glad to be back at earlham, even though this stuff we go through seems like total bullshit.  the bullshit is worth it.  life is fun.

In retrospect, i should have come to this place a long time ago, to take things for what they are.
i will take the world for what it is...
undecipherable, normative, contradictory, beautiful, unending, ambiguous, repulsive
i will take you for what you are...
calming, beautiful, ambiguous, inconsistent, joyful, sorrowful, differentiating, crazy
i will take myself for what i am...
sorrowful, intense, unrelenting, joyful, questioning, quiet, outspoken, unsure, crazy

for what it's worth, i can say now that it was foolish to expect great success from a friendship with someone as unstable, unsure, and dysfunctional as myself.  i was wrong to expect legitimate consistency from you if you do not know what you expect from yourself.  i hope in the next four months we will both find clarity, purpose, and renewal.  i do not know what to expect from you and, thus, i will expect nothing from you.  to do anything else would be to abandon the world as it is.

furthermore, reason and understanding represent a fundamental human prerogative  for any action one undertakes, a reason for that action is invariably, consciously or subconsciously, ascribed.  even those who attempt to escape such a reality of reasoning still doom themselves to its principles.  the very attempt to escape reason serves as the reason for one's actions and, thus, this fundamental human prerogative is upheld.

as i see life for what it is, a vacuum of conflicting reasons launched at you from every angle, i recognize that i struggle to uphold a reason for my own life.  the world cannot provide me with a clear purpose for life just as you cannot for friendship.  the only reasonable step is to take life, you, and myself as they are, inconsistent and metaphysically dismembered, and, furthermore, substitute a personal reason for life and my actions.  i cannot truly expect anyone or anything els to guide my actions any more sufficiently since any action, in comparison to everything else, becomes relatively meaningless.

"A moment after happiness, then everything's all wrong, again."
-Elizabeth Ethbridge Fulton Whelps

maybe not, maybe seeing the ambiguity of the world and thus the hope and meaning that you can give yourself is true liberation.

ok, so i was watching snl digital shorts again.  and, well, this one is hilarious.

so some friends and i took a really cool trip to philly the other day and here are some of the better photos.

 what i don't understand is how one can go through life without feeling, at moments, that the agony of life outweighls the fear of death.  i honestly think that different people feel emotion at different intensities.

 ok.  i thought this was hilarious given my tatoo and my past hair style.

i just want to sleep for a long time.  i've slept for 14 hours and i wish it could go longer :(  i'm tired of being awake.

the sleep of reason
that produces monsters.

</lj-embed>so i was listening to my mellow manifesto pandora station and came across some cool songs.  at the very least i find the lyrics and musical style of these songs to be intriguing.  as well, i was browsing 4chan and found this awesome picture.  i don't know why but it makes me feel less meaningless when i see other people completely immersed in a hurried world.

i feel strange, out of place, and absurd.  i doubt this feeling will go away shortly.